New Laws to Increase Public Toilet Noise Levels
Priory of Sion closes Australian Chapter
BitCoin funded News site launched
First Dolphin in Space by 2020
A lobby group is pushing to legislate minimum noise levels in public and workplace...
The secretive Priory of Sion announced this week that it is closing its top...
A new global news service has been launched which is completely funded by BitCoins....
A global consortium has announced that they plan on sending the first dolphin into...
A lobby group is pushing to legislate minimum noise levels in public and workplace toilets. The Chamber of Affable Din is lobbying the government for new laws that require a certain level of noise in toilets. “There is only one thing worse than sitting in a cubicle in silence. And that is sitting next...
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The secretive Priory of Sion announced this week that it is closing its top secret doors for the last time. The organisation made famous by The Da Vinci Code has allegedly been operating from secret headquarters in Canberra for several decades. “Yes, secret societies do exist. And this is a very sad day for...
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A new global news service has been launched which is completely funded by BitCoins. TotalGlobalNews.com is claiming to be the first news website funded entirely by the virtual currency. “We are very excited about this initiative,” says the Executive Editor of TotalGlobalNews. “It is amazing to watch the company net worth change on an...
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A global consortium has announced that they plan on sending the first dolphin into space within the next 7 years. Orcinus Aerospace is drawing up plans for a next generation spaceship that will be able to carry a dolphin into outer space, orbit the earth, and land safely back in the ocean. “This will...
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As part of the “Reuse, Reprise, Recondition” initiative, the Capital Public Works Authority (CPWA) will be reengineering the Captain Cook Memorial Jet to use recycled water, pumped directly from Lake Burley Griffin. In an interview today, Graeme Snell from the CPWA said “Most people are unaware that the Jet actually pumps water from the...
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Following the recent announcement of the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI due to health reasons, the Catholic Church is said to be exploring options for voting in a new Pope. “We are suggesting that the new Pope be voted in using Facebook,” explained Jason Summers from the Catholic Youth Leaders Strategic Alliance. “A recent...
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An American company that specialises in economic landforms is suggesting that the fiscal cliff is around 42 metres (or about 138 feet) tall. “We have used sophisticated techniques to calculate the height of the US fiscal cliff, and are confident of the 138 feet measurement,” said George Newman of Financial Escarpment Metrics. “Standing on...
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The perpetrators of an underwear wholesaler robbery in Fyshwick last month have been brought to justice after forensic officers matched tyre skid marks. “Skid-marks are like fingerprints, no two are alike,” said forensics officer Sam Beatty in an exclusive interview with The Canberra News Digestive. “I have been told I have a nose for...
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The self-titled Pun King has arrived in Canberra as part of his yearly pilgrimage to Summernats. Jimmy El-Sabaa is well known amongst Summernats regulars because of his alleged ability to make continuous puns. “I am gonna have a smokin’ good time this year. I just hope I don’t get burnout!” said Mr El-Sabaa in...
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A quantum computer that was left to its own devices has designed the next generation of super computer. The aptly named “Deep Light” quantum computer was given the task of designing new sub-routines for an improved quantum computer operating system, but when researchers checked the results, they were stunned to find a whole new...
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