A red faced Tony Abbott admitted today that he is currently “offline” due to a terrible case of Dysentery.
The Opposition Leader was part way through a triathlon when he opted out of the race due to sharp abdominal pains.
“I can now honestly say that shit happens, and mean it” he joked from his hospital bed.
It was only a few days ago that Mr Abbott was criticised for alleged insensitive remarks about the loss of Australian soldiers.
Dysentery is an inflammatory disorder of the colon, that results in severe diarrhea often containing blood in the faeces.
Doctors have assured fans of Mr Abbott camping outside Canberra Hospital that he is expected to make a full recovery and will return to his important job of leading the Liberal opposition.
“Any rumours that this may cause a leadership challenge are exactly that – rumours. Watch this space” remarked the Rhodes Scholar to reporters earlier today.
Malcolm Turnbull, known for his iron constitution, is reported to have sent Mr Abbott a large bunch of lilies.