Tony Abbott brands National Broadband Network as “Optic Ploptic”

Federal Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has come out with all cylinders firing as he slammed the government’s National Broadband Network (NBN).

Fueling Mr Abbott’s anger is the release of figures showing that only 4,000 customers have signed up to the NBN service.

“Everyone knows that the internet is all about adultery and gambling. If there are only 4,000 customers, then what are those people doing? Are they getting value for money?” Mr Abbott asked in an interview earlier today.

“If my maths are correct, based on the crazy figure of one bazillion dollars spent on the NBN so far, then those customers have paid around $250,000 per connection. Who would pay that? A night in Canberra’s Fyshwick or at the casino costs way less than that, even for hardcore godless people.”

The target for NBN completion is December 2021 when fibre optic broadband is expected to be completely replaced with a technology more advanced than early twenty-first century predictions.