Windows XPocalypse two thousand times worse than Millennium Bug

A computer security expert has warned of an upcoming “computer apocalypse” due to the end of Microsoft support for Microsoft Windows XP.

The newly dubbed XPocalypse is likened to the Y2K bug, but could be more than two thousand times worse.

“The difference between XPocalypse and Y2K is that billions of dollars were spent fixing the Millennium Bug,” says computer security expert Mal Kolmogorov.

“The clock is now ticking on XPocalypse. The hackers are working around the clock looking for exploits, knowing they will not be patched.”


ATMs may explode with money after being hacked

“Approximately 60% of all cash machines (ATMs) are currently running Windows XP. Try to tell me it is not a matter of time before there is money pouring out of those machines and into the streets.”

During the Y2K hysteria, many predicted a dystopian future where planes unexpectedly fall from the sky and fax machines are rendered useless.

“I don’t want to sound alarmist, but my advice to anyone with a computer running Windows XP is to switch it off, unplug it from the wall and place it in the corner of the room under a heavy woollen blanket.”

It is not known as to whether Microsoft will offer incentives to upgrade from Windows XP, or patch any future XP exploits if they are deemed serious enough.

Support for Microsoft Office 2003 and Clippy the Paperclip have also ended.