A hidden underbelly of gang warfare may be plaguing the construction industry across Australia.
The rise of construction sites in Canberra has vastly increased the number of construction workers in the nation’s capital.
And whilst there has never been a better time to be in construction, there may also be an internal rivalry that could send the industry into a concrete molded spiral.
“There are two major rival gangs that have emerged in the construction industry,” explains Bob Shubert, an unofficial spokesperson close to the source.
“On one side you have the ‘Tangs’. On the other side, the ‘Kermits.'”
The ‘Tangs’ and the ‘Kermits’ refer to the two colours of the high visibility vests that construction workers wear.
“Take a look at any construction site in Canberra, and you will clearly see the workers grouping in their colours.”
Kermits maintain that their green vests are more visible, whereas Tangs suggest their orange vests are more aesthetically pleasing.
“In the past we would expect to see a differentiation between workers and management, or maybe union and non-union workers… but nobody expected such a fierce division of labour as we are seeing with the Tangs and Kermits.”
“We have had unconfirmed reports of air-barges (a threatening display of an impending shoulder barge that does not manifest into physical contact) , unprovoked gansgta rap music, and even hot food lunch orders being switched with salads. The reports all remain unconfirmed, because even amongst rival gangs, there is a code of non-snitching.”
“Generally speaking the construction industry is seen as a workplace where everyone gets along, and that only apprentices are targets for lollygagging and the occasional taunt. Now we are seeing Kermits and Tangs having completely separate smokos.”
“I remember being sent to find a left-handed screwdriver when I started as an apprentice, which was hilarious for everyone, but sadly those days may be behind us.”
A local fashion industry spokesperson has suggested that the high visibility look is expected to make its debut on the Paris catwalks sometime this year, which may solve the issue once and for all.