Tourists at Stromlo Forest Park have reported another “Yeti” sighting whilst hiking through dense bushland. Sven Eriksson and his wife Lena spotted the mysterious creature as they approached an opening in the dense scrub. “We saw what we first thought was another hiker. Then we realised that this was no ordinary tourist like us,...
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Richard Sachet, the inventor of the notoriously difficult to open “Clamshell Packaging” has been found dead in his Beverly Hills mansion. The modern packaging, which is designed to be tamper-proof and shoplift-proof, has driven millions of consumers crazy due to its difficulty in opening. Medical practitioners have reported that thousands of people are admitted...
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A local lobby group has called for a public holiday to be created to commemorate the recent earthquake in Canberra. “Earthquakes don’t happen often in Canberra, and this one really rocked the capital. We surely should have a public holiday to celebrate, especially since it was conveniently on a Friday,” said Jenna Blake from...
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A rally group in the Nations Capital have begun a “DVD burning” campaign in protest of Guy Pearce’s recent comments about Canberra. The Anti-Anti-Canberra United Front set fire to DVDs of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, LA Confidential, and the Neighbours 1986-89 Commemorative Box Set at a rally outside Pearce shops. “We are outraged...
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Popstar evangelist and highly important celebrity Bob Geldof is reported to be working on a follow up song to his 1979 hit “I don’t like Mondays”. The former lead singer of The Boomtown Rats recently said on his blog that he is “sick and tired of people saying I am a one hit wonder”....
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Owners of the iconic Kombi van have expressed outrage at the recent comparisons to the Sydney Monorail. In his rejection of the monorail being of value to Canberra, ACT Light Rail chair Damien Haas said that the monorail carriages are like ‘sitting in a row of old Kombi vans’. “This is extremely offensive to...
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The British government has released their latest budget, which has been hailed by many as “a ruddy good thing.” Finance Minister George Osborne announced that the top rate of tax would be reduced from 50 per cent to 45 per cent. “This is a ruddy good thing for all Brits,” said Lord Applemort in...
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A Belconnen man has contacted the ACT Registrar-General’s Office to find out how he can marry his new iPad. “I have fallen in love with my new iPad,” said James Hicks in an exclusive interview with The Canberra News Digestive. “Why should I be discriminated against, just because my love interest is different to...
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A pack of twelve Doberman Pinschers have arrived in Canberra to begin their role of patrolling the new ASIO building. The dogs, which have been specially trained in Germany, are genetically bred to have extra sharp hearing and eyesight. “These canines are not your regular backyard variety of pet,” said Heinrich Schmitt from Zornig...
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Controversial radio personality Kyle Sandilands is hunting for publishers as he plans to reveal all in a shocking new book. The self confessed bad boy of the airwaves wants people to see that he has many layers, not all of which are self centered and repulsive. “Kyle is really just a big teddy bear,”...
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