Federal Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has come out with all cylinders firing as he slammed the government’s National Broadband Network (NBN). Fueling Mr Abbott’s anger is the release of figures showing that only 4,000 customers have signed up to the NBN service. “Everyone knows that the internet is all about adultery and gambling. If...
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A man who called the Victorian Emergency Services “000″ number 68 times on New Years Eve has allegedly disappeared. Andrew Carlssin, a self professed scientist became known to emergency services after he called them repeatedly claiming to have invented a working time machine. Jack Prescott of Emergency Services Australia said, “We had pretty much...
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As part of it’s Qantas headquarters refurbishment, the airline board has erected a gold statue as a tribute to CEO Alan Joyce. The statue was commissioned by the Qantas board earlier in the year. “This is a tribute to a great man, a visionary, and a master of destiny, “ said board member Patrick...
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The news that Kim Jong-il has died is still echoing across the world as media outlets describe the year 2011 as “Annus Horribilis for dictators”. Long time critic of Kim Jong-il and purported “nemesis”, Kim Jong-pil today said that he “is saddened by the loss of Kim Jong-il” and wishes his family “all the...
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A recent study of Canberra’s public servants internet usage has revealed that the Captain’s Flat Weather Radar Loop is the most visited website. In an interview earlier today, Adrienne Carmichael from Registered Anonymous Data said that, “I guess this shows that public servants think about the weather regularly and take it quite seriously. Usage...
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The famous Rice Cracker resembling Bert Newton has been reported stolen. The Ecclesiastical Church of Reformed Sinners have released a statement saying that they are “overwhelmed with grief” at the loss of the cultural icon. The Mugga Way church were the highest bidders when the item was listed on eBay in 2005. “We have...
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The ACT Chief Minister announced today that Swinger Hill is to be renamed Howard Hill, after former Prime Minister John Howard. The move comes after heavy lobbying from the Australian Council of Conservatives (ACoC) who complained that the name Swinger Hill had negative connotations and “promoted infidelity” and “relationships of a sordid nature”. The...
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Apple’s virtual personal assistant Siri has been voted “Sexiest Non-Sentient Being” by Frapple Magazine. “We are not surprised by this outcome,” said Majel Lloyd executive editor of Frapple Magazine, a fan magazine dedicated to Apple products. “For most Apple fans, this is a no brainer. Siri has filled the void where otherwise a girlfriend...
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The dermatology world was rocked earlier this week as legitimate scientists announced the discovery of an eighth sign of ageing. Until now, scientists had accepted the undeniable truth that there were only seven signs of ageing. The known signs are: 1. Fine lines and wrinkles 2. Rough skin texture 3. Uneven skin tone 4....
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The ACT Government has announced that ACT Police will be given new powers to force motorists to hand over sunglasses at the police’s discretion. Colin Bragg from the AFP suggested that, “this is not aimed at reducing motorists protection from the sun. We expect that motorists who have had sunglasses confiscated can go to...
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