Angry US Retailers No Longer Selling AAA Batteries

Due to the recent downgrading of America’s credit rating from AAA to AA+, some retailers are protesting by no longer stocking AAA batteries.

Amber Lane from the American Retail Sales Conglomerate stated “we are very angry about being downgraded and are encouraging all retailers to stop selling AAA batteries.”

“In the same way that we renamed French Fries into Freedom Fries because of the French involvement in the Twin Towers, we are doing our part to protest this credit rating downgrading,” Ms Lane said in an interview.

Rated AAA?

Battery manufacturers have apparently urged retailers to continue AAA battery sales with the suggestion that this protest is not actually helping any cause.

The Remote Control Manufacturers Union has also come out in unity with battery manufacturers and are lobbying the government to step in.

Republican Senator Chip Carney vented in response by saying “This is bigger than any financial market thing.  If those foreigners think they can downgrade our credit rating, then more fool them. ”

“Let’s see how they go putting AAA batteries in their tiny foreign cameras when they come here on their junkets.  I urge every American to burn any AAA batteries they have at home.”

It is too early to see if local retailers such as gas stations will take up the cause and not stock AAA batteries, which are seen as a highly profitable sales item.

Woz says:

Subsequent to this story, Public Enemy front man ‘Chuck D’ changed his name to Chuck AAA as a protest against the revised rating. “Don’t by no batteries. AAA is Public Enemy Number One. Fight the power and get yourself an AC Adaptor”