New Shampoo Labelling Laws Proposed

Which is which?

The Ageing Veterans Association (AVA) is lobbying the federal government to introduce strict labelling laws for shampoo and conditioner bottles.

The powerful lobby group has suggested that shampoo and conditioner bottles are discriminatory and potentially dangerous for older people due to their confusing labels.

Audrey Maslin of AVA said in a press conference yesterday, “Older people are sick of not being able to figure out which is the shampoo and which is the conditioner. The labels need to be clearly marked to distinguish the two. I don’t take my glasses into the shower, does anybody?”

The proposed laws would require that shampoo bottles are bright red with a large “S” on the side and the lid, with conditioner bottles being green with a large “C”.

The Australian Retail Advocacy Group (ARAG) is alarmed by the proposal and has suggested that “this is yet another ridiculous and unfounded attack on retailers”.

“First cigarettes and now shampoo. What next? Alcohol?” said an angry Bob Costovo from ARAG.

The laws would also ban the use of unnecessary and confusing terminology such as “Essential Infusion”, “Quadramine Complex” and “Crystal Creme Revitalizing”.