Nostradamus predicts the rise of Donald Trump

Disappointed Harry Potter fans in Open Day mix-up

Google originally named Go-Ogle claims insider

Same-Sex Marriage Protest Couple change their minds about Divorce

First Dolphin in Space by 2020

A global consortium has announced that they plan on sending the first dolphin into space within the next 7 years. Orcinus Aerospace is drawing up plans for a next generation spaceship that will be able to carry a dolphin into outer space, orbit the earth, and land safely back in the ocean. “This will be…

Captain Cook Memorial Jet soon to use Recycled Water

As part of the “Reuse, Reprise, Recondition” initiative, the Capital Public Works Authority (CPWA) will be reengineering the Captain Cook Memorial Jet to use recycled water, pumped directly from Lake Burley Griffin. In an interview today, Graeme Snell from the CPWA said “Most people are unaware that the Jet actually pumps water from the Murrumbidgee…

New Pope may be voted in via Social Media

Following the recent announcement of the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI due to health reasons, the Catholic Church is said to be exploring options for voting in a new Pope. “We are suggesting that the new Pope be voted in using Facebook,” explained Jason Summers from the Catholic Youth Leaders Strategic Alliance. “A recent survey…

Fiscal Cliff around 138 feet tall say Analysts

An American company that specialises in economic landforms is suggesting that the fiscal cliff is around 42 metres (or about 138 feet) tall. “We have used sophisticated techniques to calculate the height of the US fiscal cliff, and are confident of the 138 feet measurement,” said George Newman of Financial Escarpment Metrics. “Standing on or…

Great Underwear Robbery foiled by Skid-marks

The perpetrators of an underwear wholesaler robbery in Fyshwick last month have been brought to justice after forensic officers matched tyre skid marks. “Skid-marks are like fingerprints, no two are alike,” said forensics officer Sam Beatty in an exclusive interview with The Canberra News Digestive. “I have been told I have a nose for skid-marks,…

King of Puns rolls into Summernats

The self-titled Pun King has arrived in Canberra as part of his yearly pilgrimage to Summernats. Jimmy El-Sabaa is well known amongst Summernats regulars because of his alleged ability to make continuous puns. “I am gonna have a smokin’ good time this year. I just hope I don’t get burnout!” said Mr El-Sabaa in an…