Entertainment

• Aussie man asks Megan Fox to scatter his ashes, in the bath
• Bert Newton Rice Cracker stolen
• Bob Geldof to write second song
• Canberrans take to the streets in Guy Pearce protest
• Charlize Theron to play Gina Rinehart in upcoming movie
• Ellen Degeneres to star in Nurse Jackie – The Movie
• Environmentalists put the pressure on Belinda Carlisle
• Fifty Shades of Angry Birds
• Free Pussy Riot set to leave Kony 2012 for dead
• Hitler’s moustache may have been a fake
• Karl Stefanovic to star in own 24 hour TV channel
• Kyle Sandilands to expose himself in autobiography
• Limestone Lizzie: The Musical
• Mark Wahlberg incurs wrath of Terrorist Groups
• Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston duet branded “Tasteless”
• Paris Hilton kicked out of Paris Hilton
• Paul Hogan cracks down on Internet Piracy
• Prince William and Kate to Honeymoon in Canberra
• Readers will pay for consuming Fairfax News
• Rihanna launches new Motor Scooter
• Russell Brand’s plea to the media: “Stop making things up!”
• Save the Tigers Foundation alarmed at Charlie Sheen’s antics
• Scientologists are “on the money” says Pope
• Sexy Siri voted Number One
• Top ex-Naval pilot “Maverick” dies in tragic Karaoke accident
• Tupac Shakur: I am Banksy!

Environment

• Big Banana ripe for World Heritage Listing
• Captain Cook Memorial Jet soon to use Recycled Water
• Environmentalists put the pressure on Belinda Carlisle
• First Dolphin in Space by 2020
• First Shark in Captivity Cancer Death
• Save the Tigers Foundation alarmed at Charlie Sheen’s antics

Health

• Australians Angry over International Day of Happiness
• Eighth Sign of Ageing Discovered
• Scientists finally reveal secret to weight loss
• Teenage Conjunctivitis Sharing Craze

Local

• ACT Election may be decided by one vote
• ACT Police given power to confiscate sunglasses
• Art installations to blame for severe Canberra storms
• Authorities Draw the Line on Postcode Tagging
• Baseline your schedules for International Project Management Day
• Bill Gates unlikely to answer Windows technical questions during Australian visit
• Bonner baby wins flights for life
• Brazilian Embassy plans major landscaping overhaul
• Bungendore Night Train Signals Increased Birth Rate
• Calls for “Earthquake Day” public holiday in Canberra
• Canberra floods cause social media infrastructure spillover
• Canberra running out of automobile number plates
• Canberrans take to the streets in Guy Pearce protest
• Captain Cook Memorial Jet soon to use Recycled Water
• Dickson Balls succumbs to hard times
• Disappointed Harry Potter fans in Open Day mix-up
• Dobermans shipped in to patrol new ASIO Building
• Fifty Shades of Angry Birds
• Fireworks prices set to skyrocket
• Great Underwear Robbery foiled by Skid-marks
• High Visibility Gang Wars in Construction Industry
• Jesus appears at Corin Forest
• King of Puns rolls into Summernats
• Kombi owners cranky at Monorail comparison
• Limestone Lizzie: The Musical
• Man applies for civil union with his iPad
• Mars directly over Canberra tonight
• Molecular Concrete trialled in Majura/Phillip Ave Intersection
• Mt Ainslie best place to watch End of the World
• PM sends shoe sales hopping
• Public Servants obsessed with Captain’s Flat
• Queanbeyan Teddy Bear mystery solved
• Same-Sex Marriage Protest Couple change their minds about Divorce
• Stromlo Yeti strikes again
• Swinger Hill to be renamed Howard Hill
• Ufologists hotly debate Canberra UFO
• Veteran’s Park Refurbishment slowly moves ahead
• Weston Park on track for high-speed rail pilot

National

• 92 yo man becomes first Carbon Tax death
• Abandoned Oil Rig considered for Asylum Seeker solution
• Australia’s Old Parliament House to become Shopping Mall
• High Visibility Gang Wars in Construction Industry
• Local Psychic predicts Melbourne Cup winner
• Man becomes millionaire after answering “scam” email
• Mark Latham slams John Hewson for “always sticking his nose in”
• Motorbikes to be banned in Western Australia
• New Laws to Increase Public Toilet Noise Levels
• New Shampoo Labelling Laws Proposed
• Priory of Sion closes Australian Chapter
• Qantas erects gold Alan Joyce statue
• Schoolteachers outraged as Carbon Tax pushes up Pencil prices
• Time Machine inventor disappears
• Tony Abbott brands National Broadband Network as “Optic Ploptic”

Politics

• 92 yo man becomes first Carbon Tax death
• Abandoned Oil Rig considered for Asylum Seeker solution
• ACT Election may be decided by one vote
• ACT Police given power to confiscate sunglasses
• Alan Jones a victim of media manipulation says Black
• Angry US Retailers No Longer Selling AAA Batteries
• Australia’s Old Parliament House to become Shopping Mall
• Bob Kony calls for “no more death threats”
• Brits finally give wealthy a “fair go”
• Election 2013: Lies, damned lies, and statistics
• Joe Hockey set to become the official mascot for the Hockeyroos
• Kim Jong-pil pays tribute to Kim Jong-il
• Mark Latham slams John Hewson for “always sticking his nose in”
• Pencil prices remain high, despite Carbon Tax repeal
• PM sends shoe sales hopping
• Readers will pay for consuming Fairfax News
• Schoolteachers outraged as Carbon Tax pushes up Pencil prices
• Tony Abbott brands National Broadband Network as “Optic Ploptic”
• Tony Abbott struck down with ironic case of Dysentery

Sport

• Canberra Psychic predicts 2013 Melbourne Cup Winner
• Joe Hockey set to become the official mascot for the Hockeyroos
• Local Psychic predicts Melbourne Cup winner
• Worst Olympics Ever says AGMWA

Tech News

• Android users “meaner to their mothers”
• Bill Gates unlikely to answer Windows technical questions during Australian visit
• BitCoin funded News site launched
• Canberra floods cause social media infrastructure spillover
• Cash Machine Super Hack leaked
• Flame virus “too perfect” to have been created by humans
• Geohot jailbreaks friend from Cook County Jail
• Google accuses Bing of copying Search Results – Bing says “BullTwang”
• Google originally named Go-Ogle claims insider
• Hanoi Erects Monument to Flappy Bird
• Hawaiian Diaper company plans to sue WikiLeaks
• iPhone 5 to include “cloak of invisibility” feature
• Man applies for civil union with his iPad
• Man to ride Segway up Mt Everest
• Man uses iPad on the toilet – decides to stay there
• Mayans to Jobs: The iPad 3 is likely to be the last
• Nokia gives up on phones to go in a totally new direction: Corn Chips
• Nostradamus predicts the rise of Facebook
• Quantum Computer designs own replacement
• Rupert Murdoch announces Cloning Technology – plans to sell copies of himself
• Russian Airline to buy Space Shuttle Fleet
• Sexy Siri voted Number One
• Windows XPocalypse two thousand times worse than Millennium Bug

Uncategorized

• Pun King back at SummerNats
• What would a Trump arrest look like? AI can tell us.

World

• Angry US Retailers No Longer Selling AAA Batteries
• Bob Kony calls for “no more death threats”
• Brits finally give wealthy a “fair go”
• Did Nostradamus predict the rise of Donald Trump?
• First Dolphin in Space by 2020
• Fiscal Cliff around 138 feet tall say Analysts
• Hawaiian Diaper company plans to sue WikiLeaks
• Inventor of “Clamshell Packaging” found dead
• Kim Jong-pil pays tribute to Kim Jong-il
• New Pope may be voted in via Social Media
• Queen receives unusual jubilee gift from Mohamed Al-Fayed
• Russian Airline to buy Space Shuttle Fleet
• Scientists finally reveal secret to weight loss