Great Underwear Robbery foiled by Skid-marks

The perpetrators of an underwear wholesaler robbery in Fyshwick last month have been brought to justice after forensic officers matched tyre skid marks. “Skid-marks are like fingerprints, no two are alike,” said forensics officer Sam Beatty in an exclusive interview with The Canberra News Digestive. “I have been told I have a nose for skid-marks,…

The self-titled Pun King has arrived in Canberra as part of his yearly pilgrimage to Summernats. Jimmy El-Sabaa is well known amongst Summernats regulars because of his alleged ability to make continuous puns. “I am gonna have a smokin’ good time this year. I just hope I don’t get burnout!” said Mr El-Sabaa in an…

A quantum computer that was left to its own devices has designed the next generation of super computer. The aptly named “Deep Light” quantum computer was given the task of designing new sub-routines for an improved quantum computer operating system, but when researchers checked the results, they were stunned to find a whole new computer…

Mt Ainslie best place to watch End of the World

Thousands of Canberrans are expected to ascend Mount Ainslie this Friday to usher in the end of the world. According to the Mayan Calendar, the world will end at approximately 8:15 PM AESDT this Friday 21st December 2012. Mt Ainslie has been officially chosen as the best place to get a good panoramic view of…

Fifty Shades of Angry Birds

A local games developer has announced he may be approaching Rovio with an idea for combining Angry Birds and the best selling novel Fifty Shades of Grey. Jeff Anderson, a computer games designer from the Canberra suburb of Downer, says he had the idea whilst reading the famous erotic novel on his iPad. “I had…

Bungendore Night Train Signals Increased Birth Rate

An anecdotal study has shown that the 3am train running through the centre of Bungendore may have been sending local birth rates off the rails. The normally sleepy town has seen an increase in births since the dairy train commenced the night run in 1996.”It is a known fact that when married couples are woken…

The Canberra News Digestive

Because real news is hard to swallow.

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Pun King back at SummerNats

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Disappointed Harry Potter fans in Open Day mix-up