Android users “meaner to their mothers”

A survey conducted by the International Strategic Global Relevant Mobile Device Data Collectors has revealed that Android users are more likely to swear and be mean to their mothers. “We are just as surprised by the results as anyone, especially to see such negative results from users of an open-source operating system,” said Grant Carlssin…

Schoolteachers outraged as Carbon Tax pushes up Pencil prices

Primary school teachers have announced their displeasure with the new Carbon Tax and the suggestion that it will push up the price of pencils. “Most people these days are aware that lead pencils do not actually contain lead, but contain carbon.” said Ernest Post from the National Teachers Federation. “Market reaction to the Carbon Tax…

Mark Latham slams John Hewson for “always sticking his nose in”

Controversial ex-Labor leader Mark Latham has come out guns blazing and they are squarely pointed at ex-Liberal leader John Hewson. “Every time I open a newspaper, there is John Hewson sticking his nose in where it’s not wanted. I mean, who is interested in what he has to say?” said Latham in an interview earlier…

Paul Hogan cracks down on Internet Piracy

After his attack on the Australian Taxation Office, Paul Hogan has vowed to crack down on internet piracy. The 72 year old star of Lightning Jack has apparently been gathering statistics on which of his movies have been trading illegally on internet download sites such as ThePirateBay. “I looked at the stats and I was…

Save the Tigers Foundation alarmed at Charlie Sheen’s antics

A conservation group has raised serious concerns over Charlie Sheen’s continual mention of Tiger Blood, and warns that other celebrities may attempt to purchase tiger blood on the black market. The Save the Tigers Foundation (STF) is a wildlife conservation movement initiated in India in 1984 to protect tigers from celebrities and other poachers. “This…

Ellen Degeneres to star in Nurse Jackie – The Movie

Fans of Ellen Degeneres are said to be overjoyed with the news that she is set to star in the movie version of the popular television series Nurse Jackie. A spokesperson for Ms Degeneres said that she “has always been cast in comedic roles, but is hoping that Nurse Jackie will allow her to bring…

The Canberra News Digestive

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